hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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