just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
