My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
This is my gift to your gina
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
