This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
