I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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