And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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