oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
