Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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