Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
