first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
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