shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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