shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
