I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
