he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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