I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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