Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
