we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Boobs speak an international language.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize