I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
