In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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