Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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