before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
