If that was your dad, he is hot
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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