I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
