I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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