Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize