I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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