Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
