Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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