Got a toothbrush?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
