Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
bring money and cleavage
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
