Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize