I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
