That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
whose ass print is on the piano?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
