around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
