I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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