they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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