I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
