how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
