Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
