the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
