how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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