My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
