I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
