Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I want her autograph on my taint
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
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