Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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