she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
