i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
