apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The struggles of a small town man whore
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
