hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
