Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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