No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
