so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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