they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
