I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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