I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
