And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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