I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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