You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just found puke in my bra..
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
