$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
