I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The air was thick with penises
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
