You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
