can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
