So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize