Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize