Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
are you so shy because you have an std?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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