I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
