yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
