I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
