somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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