how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
