He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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