Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
