He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
