Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
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