just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
