Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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